The Unwanted Guests

Have you ever had guests in your house who you wished were not there?

Perhaps they are guests with whom you struggle to make good, flowing conversations. Perhaps their laughter is a bit too loud for your taste. Perhaps they brought little kids who are moving things in your house and dropping snack crumbs all over the floor. Or even worse - they dropped over right while you were doing something important.

How do you respond to these situations?

Perhaps some of us spend the whole time cleaning the crumbs off the floor, wishing that the visitors will go home as soon as possible. Some of us may hide in the bathroom longer than necessary to avoid interactions. Some of us may even complain to our friends the next day about the visit so you can hear from your friends ‘Oh my gosh, that’s so annoying’ to feel affirmed.

With all of these reactions, your relationship with your guests has become antagonistic.

Now imagine that these guests were your thoughts.

From time to time, we have thoughts that bring up all sorts of unpleasant emotions - frustration, disappointment, anxiety, anger etc. When they show up, our reaction is usually to suppress/push away/deny/distract/numb OR to spill/catastrophize/grasp/amplify.

While some of these strategies might work for you to get rid of unpleasant thoughts, the baseline nature of your relationship with these unpleasant thoughts is antagonistic - you are fighting them.

What if instead, you allowed the thoughts to visit you, knowing fully well that they are temporary creations of your brain? You allow and accept your annoying guests to be in your house knowing that by dinner time, they will leave as suddenly as they came? Just as the guests are not permanent features of your home, your thoughts are not you. They come and go.

So while they visit, rather than using your energy to fight the thoughts, perhaps notice them and allow them to be there and try to accept them, knowing that they are only temporary guests.

The baseline relationship we create with our thoughts - pleasant or unpleasant - can be of acceptance because they are not there forever.

If you would like to have a different relationship with your thoughts try the Mindfulness of Thoughts practice by clicking this link:

https://www.choosinglifewithcourage.com/copy-of-practice-mindfulness-practi