Underneath the Instagram Facade

During the holiday as I visited a beach, I couldn’t help but notice the sheer number of couples taking photos for what seemed targeted specifically for instagram purposes. What this looked like was the girl posing in different stances like a model with different facial expressions ranging from big smiles to poised and looking into the distance, each time making sure that her dress and her hair were perfectly arranged. The boy would be snapping away on his phone from different angles with the beautiful ocean in the background. It wasn’t just at the beach that I noticed this phenomenon, but at other tourist spots like the Marina Bay Sands and Gardens by the Bay. People would be taking their time posing in different ways to craft a particular instagram story with fancy instagrammable features in the background.

When I saw this phenomenon I felt a knot in my stomach. I couldn’t help but wonder, ‘what is this movement in which people seem preoccupied with spending their time and energy to create a specific image of themselves on instagram?’ The knot was an honest reaction that what I was seeing was not aligned with what I valued.

So what do I value? What I value can be shown in my family picture taken a few years back.

In this picture, you can see my husband’s eyes are closed, my daughter is picking her nose, my son’s expression indescribable (probably needs changing soon) and even with my best effort to smile, I look tired. To top it off, it looks like the cake icing has melted. This picture to me represents what is real in human life. I love my family very much, and I know that my family is not perfect in an instagram sense. What I mean by this is that we are not laughing and hugging each other 24/7. Humans are messy and relationships are messy. I love my son and I am frustrated that I spend half of the meal time picking up things he drops on the floor. I love my daughter and I get in quarrels with her when she whines about her school work.

What I value is embracing the whole of human experiences - the joy, the frustration, the warmth, the hurt and much more. Every person on this earth has these real human experiences underneath the facade of instagram. I wish to be part of a community where we can be in touch with these human experiences and have honest conversations about these experiences with each other. Genuine sharing of our humanness is where I believe true human connections can be made, and where we are truly driven to support each other when we learn that someone is going through challenges.

There are times when I wonder if what I wish for is naive. I wonder if my hope is only wishful thinking and the rest of the society does not care for it. I often feel that my value goes against the greater current, especially when I witness the homogeneity of human behavior on social media. However, this value of embracing humanness is something that is core to who I am and it is important for me to hold onto, and express it in ways that I can - even when it feels lonely and difficult at times.

To continue to hold onto and express my value is my intention for the year of 2023. The richness of humans is that we are all unique, and we can all have unique values to put to practice.

What are your values that are important to you?

My request is that during the next week, can you find a few minutes to get in touch with your core values and set your intention for how you wish to express yourself for the year that you are welcoming?